Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Friends... Singlehood days

Please forgive me if this post seems a little emo or something. Just suddenly felt like I am damn lucky to have friends...

Throughout my whole life, friends keep telling me 
"Susan, damn do you have many friends!"
"You are really crazy to be with"
"You love laughing don't you?"
"Why are you so happy all the time?"

Seriously, to me, no matter how upset I get or how mad I am throughout the day, friends are the ones who brighten up my day and make my worries go away. Therefore, my emptiness, sadness and anger will just be eliminated just when I see them smile. It doesn't matter if I make a fool out of myself or laugh like a maddie, who cares? Just to see a smile appear on my friends' faces are worth all of that.

I have learnt in so many years to live in a positive way. To think of things in another way. (But of course there are negative moments for me, after I am human right?) Throughout this life that I lived, I realised family and friends are the things I can't live without... (Not forgetting music, dance, my sight, etc...) When you are in trouble, your family is always there for you, never betraying you. Friends? Yeah, there are good and bad ones, If they are meant to keep, you will see them in the matter of time. 

Back to the topic, 

Yeah, I know many people in my life. But I wouldn't say I have a lot of friends. Sometimes as I scroll in my phonebook, I never get to find anyone to really go out with or even talk to, except my bestie.

I do see some names whom I can call but know they would only come out to take advantage of me in terms of $$ or business. However, I still do call them as I know there will come a day when they will come to their senses. After all, I am happy as long as they are happy.

I have recently met a lot of people throughout the few months being single. People whom I thought would never contacts me, people whom was not my friends to start of with, people who pitied me, people who thinks I was worth making instead of HIM... HIS FRIENDS~! Well, I really do believe that when you are not a good friend, even your closest friends would not stand on your side. I really could not believe it that his friends would call me out for drinks, swimming, and just stuff and not him. Why? Who knows? Maybe they did not like the way he treated me also? Maybe he really has a problem??


I do feel lonely at times, but I do try to make my time busy by having all sorts of random gatherings, movie mania nights, etc. I have never known the meaning behind singlehood and the days you would go through. There are pros and cons though. I wouldn't say it is all that bad being single. 

For the previous 5 years, I have been spending my birthday with the someone I THOUGHT was special. HE neglected what made me happy, made me give up my passion for dance, made me avoid my guy friends, had my friends disappear as my life back then was only staying at home. I never really did get a chance to spend time with my friends. After having the hell of my life of 4 years and 9 months, I finally got to spend time with my friends, get back to them and keep up with how their life is like again. Little did I know that the little people, younger than me, got to bring me out of my shell and realize how much I have lost through the years. It's them who encouraged me and brought back my bubble personality and also to pursue my dream once again. 

This year, it's gonna be a blast no matter what. I get to celebrate my birthday with not one, but a bunch of friends, no matter what race, gender or background. I don't need anyone's permission anymore! It's my year, the rabbit year and no one's gonna ruin it!!!

HARGH!!!! Finally after writing all these emoness, I am feeling hungry and relieved... ^^

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