Monday, May 7, 2012

A random Emo Post...

WARNING! THIS POST IS ABOUT MY LIFE, HOW I AM TRYING TO COPE MY LIFE, ALL ABOUT ME! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING, SKIP THIS POST AND READ THE NEXT! 

BEST READ IF YOU WANT TO BE MY NEXT PARTNER.


I'm actually having trouble starting this post. So much going on in my mind, so many things happening around me...

Let's just talk about my love life then...

For years I have been attached to someone, physically and mentally. Singlehood for me was a real shocker last year as I have never been single for more than a month before since my schooling days. So far, it's been almost a year now that I've been on my own. At first, I did ask myself "How are you going to survive the days going by alone? Who are you going to turn to when you get sad and lonely? Who are you going to find when you needed someone to talk to?" But after a year now, I guess I really have to thank my boys and bestie. They are the ones who were there for me, spending time with me, calling me up to check how I was, turning my frown upside down. It's this time that I finally understood the power of friendship. I neglected them when I had a boyfriend and they still stuck on to me after I broke it off. I will never leave them again.

No doubt being single isn't easy especially when I've been in a relationship all these years. I've been so used to depending on someone, having hugs and kisses, someone to watch movies with, hang out with, sit at home with... There are times when I longs for someone to hug and cuddle with, but I guess that will have to wait. My boys have been watching movies with me, hanging out with me especially at promotional places. I have been sitting at home with my mom and also Coco, the new member of the family, watching TV or just spending time with my family, which I never really did when I was in a relationship.

For this past year, I have come to my senses and realized what kind of a girlfriend/friend I have been all this while. I tend to help people a lot even when they don't ask for any help. Sometimes, I tend to overdo it and people may take it the wrong way. I tend to help them whole heartedly and expect nothing back but I guess in this world, people think that EVERYONE expects something in return. It is hard to be a nice person nowadays...

I have always been a sensitive, overprotective girlfriend. I am sensitive in a way that I am bad tempered because I get jealous really easily. I have trust issues. I don't trust guys easily anymore because I have been cheated on and lied to too many times. I checked on him a lot too. That may be very annoying I know. I am starting to learn how to not care too much. Sometimes, you have to let go some to gain some...

I've always told my mom, "I ain't getting married. I'll only get married if I find a guy who is so in love with me that he won't mind me not giving birth to any children for him." 

I don't plan on giving birth because it causes too much pain. If you know me in real life long enough, you will know that I have a big problem with pain. You can pinch me and I can scream in pain. Yeah. That bad. I have thought of second piercings but then again, second thoughts IT HURTS! Let alone body art. 

Someone was just asking me what I was doing. He told me to tell about a story about a guy whose body is filled with tattoos and that I was scared. Seriously, I am a bit terrified of full body tattooed guys. Not that I've met any of them yet, but it's just quite scary though. I have nothing against it though. It takes a lot of guts and courage to take up one. (That's why I am tattoo-free!) I have only seen people with a few tattoos but not all over the body though. Hmm...

Anyway, time to end this post. It's getting late. Long week this week. Friends coming down from all over the world, Avengers on Wednesday, going to KL on Friday, meeting up a long lost friend, meeting my oversea friends during the weekend, Spa treatment on Tuesday... PHEW!!! Wait for updates yah!!!